Letting Go

I talked to a "shrink" yesterday.
Well - not literally - but he might as well be one :P.
He enabled me from waking up on the right (just to be clear I meant right as in opposite to wrong; not left-right's right) side of the bed today.

I'm letting it all go. It's a choice. It's my choice.
No one can do it for me. Only me and I'm doing it.
No judgement. No expectations. Just self love.
Taking one day at a time. Appreciate what I get done for the day.

The big question was "what's my ideal week?"

I had to form the answer but I don't know how to.
I was thinking what would the "correct" answer be instead of what the "actual" answer is.
Then suddenly it hit me - it's been me and only me all along who stopped myself from having my ideal week.
My worries and my constant thoughts that I need to put on a "fake" presentation, which is probably not expected of me by anyone else but myself.

My ideal week is actually what I've been having.
But I'm too concerned about what others think of me, I'm too concerned about what should be the ideal week to even realise that I've been having them!
What a shame...

But - it's OK. It will change from now on.
I'm going to cherish my days and enjoy my moments.

I will try to contribute more at work - because that's what makes me happy.
I like contributing. Making changes. Even if it is not impacting the world.
I get to see direct results. I can see that the people that I'm interacting with are happy with my work.
I'm going to be more proactive and solve problems. Just because I love solving problems. I love feeling curious and then solving the puzzle. :)

I will continue on taking photos. Starting and getting involved in a project perhaps. Just because I enjoy it.
Why do I spend my time looking at photos and researching them?
Because I love it. I enjoy it.
I totally appreciate and admire the effort that photographer has gone into to take those amazing photos.
It doesn't matter if not everyone enjoy them the way I do.
It doesn't matter if people don't understand my fascination of it.
I'm going to do it as long as I enjoy them and am fascinated by it. :)

Just like the way I'm fascinated by food. I'm going to continue savouring them.
Because I don't know how not to. I love them. They just excites me in ways nothing else can. :P
They are like the second best thing in the world (with the first being my husband.. What can I say? He reads my blog posts... ;P Just kidding. He is definitely the BEST thing...)

Along the same lines - it makes me happy to look lovely in nice clothes - so I'll savour my food but not overdo them.
I'm going to balance it so that I can continue being happy when I look at myself in the clothing store's dressing room mirrors. :)

The same goes for blogging and catching up with the superb family and friends that I have around me.. :)
As soon as I stop wondering about what "should" have meanings for me, it becomes clear that I already have LOTS of meaningful things in life that create memorable moments.

What else are there?

I get tickled by programming - because it is a form of puzzle and I just love solving them.
But lately, I don't get to do it as much at work (being a Business Analyst) which is a bit of a shame. Now I realised that it is all just excuses.
I'm sure my work place would be happier to see me advancing myself in some sort of programming language which is used within the environment than mindlessly browsing
the web.
So - Microsoft Sharepoint hmm? :) I'll tackle that one!

But if I don't - that's OK too... I'm just going to go with the flow.
Enjoy life. Cherish my days. No regrets. No worries. :)
Because I only have one life to live - and it's a wonderful one. :)

Check out this article at Dumb Little Man which felt like it was posted just for me at the perfect time: How to Free Yourself From Limiting Beliefs.

Happy Legen... wait for it! ...dary Wednesday, people!

P.S.: When I think about it, I am super AWESOME! The only person that I know of (and don't you start commenting on this post and tell me otherwise now! :P) that doesn't believe that - is me! Tsk tsk tsk..
But it's OK, that has changed. I have finally realised that I am Barney Stinson awesome! Nothing's going to change that ever. Ha Ha Ha... :D