I tried to get my head and heart into it and even though it works for a short while (change of scenery, new role, etc), it fades away.
I still continue working away though, with no real long term goal, cause I couldn't see anything that I'm passionate about.
Until the time I switch my focus to the other side of the camera (not 100% correct cause I wasn't a model but, I did love having my photo taken :P) and fell in love with photography.
For a while now, I've spend quite a bit of time on this hobby of mine and loving every minute of it.
It's only natural that I ponder about the possibility of switching career to do this full time.
I find myself thinking about how to go about it and talking to people about it.
But, I ended up back at the pondering cause I just can't quite make the call.
Interestingly, I couldn't quite pin down the thing that is stopping me.
Until I read the following 2 sentences on Emily Giffin's book that I'm currently reading, love the one you're with.
"Perhaps I was worried that my enthusiasm would exceed my ability.
I couldn't bear the thought of failing at something I cared so much about."
WHOA - that is EXACTLY how I feel!
With that, come the realisation that I just need to apply logical reasoning to override those worries and gather the courage to pursue my passion.
Otherwise, 10 years from now, I'll still be an avid fan who desperately want to be a photographer but isn't a photographer.
So - I decided that however hurtful "failing at something I cared so much about" be, it can't be worse than "constantly wondering whether I am actually good enough at something I cared so much about".
Hmmm - I guess passion is just like many other things, "No risk, no return!" :)
Anyway - I am taking the risk - the financially smart way (i.e. putting my mind and heart into testing the water first, see if I can get weekend work of it)!
Why?
Because the return of "possibly getting the chance to do something I cared so much about (PHOTOGRAPHY) full time" is TOTALLY worth the risk of finding out that I "fail at something I cared so much about". (I hope I don't fail though... :P)
Less than 3 weeks to my first class at PSC! :) Yiipppee..
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So nice! I have actually been thinking about you and photography for a bit for the past couple of days - unsure why, maybe I have been looking at your photographs so often hehe...
But I am even excited for you if you had a full time job doing photography! It would be a nice relief to see somebody who will be genuinely happy about what they do :P... yaaaay I return the support you give me for the non-shopping months :) Doesn't matter how long you take (but remember my deal does not drag on for longer than March lol...)
haha :) yes... thank you. lol - so you're saying to me that nobody that you know is genuinely happy about what they do or are you saying that it's a relief to stop listening to my whinging :P haha
don't shop louisa! don't shop! :P give me the moneyyyyy
well in the office I work at I never really hear anything too exciting... except for TWO people... an accountant and a warehouse manager lol... mmmm... I think mostly coming from my sister??? she may be okay now though... but I think there is more in her than just working at a real estate... she says she likes those house plans but I reckon it is more the interior design she likes than being the one trying to market the house lol... i also think there are many things she is dying to try but "does not have the time" because she is so exhausted from work... and gym... and that organization (they have SO many meetings ><... they are probably good for her, but then she gets tired from them!)... I think after I come back from Milan I will start "Project: Sannie" :)...
and shelvia, lol the money that I am "saving" is weekly being used to pay back my sis for my plane ticket (which I think I will be paying off tomorrow yaaay), kekeke SORRY NO TRANSFERING >:P
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